One of the great Covid minimising tropes was how ‘lonely’ people get if they’re not allowed to mix socially.…

One of the great Covid minimising tropes was how ‘lonely’ people get if they’re not allowed to mix socially. Our culture is always in plain sight. Sociality is our default. Being alone is the reality of all life. Even when being social. There is no group mind. /1 https://t.co/XOd042zvFZ

We love occasions like this, and why not. They are lovely, and fun. But they’re not our true default. As Proust analysed in his great novel, social behaviour in situations like this is all about emitting ‘signs’. Imitating and negotiating. /2 https://t.co/gTPr3rsFki

Managing your position in a group, your social status. Polite smiles and laughs at other’s stories, so you then have permission to talk about yourself too. Often hard topics are deliberately excluded. Anything that might threaten group cohesion. Politics. Religion. Covid. /3 https://t.co/3IwgV0adJi

This is humanity’s greatest desire, to be social. It would rather deliberately infect itself with novel viruses, than sacrifice social life. But that’s not quite how it works. Beneath the veneer of smiles, this is brutal. The constant battle for status. /4 https://t.co/46IZiGCjTr

Proust of course went on to show how experiences such as love are much more profound both in terms of access to deeper realities, and for personal development. Things that fundamentally challenge sociality. /5

Disasters or catastrophes, that’s all that ever fractures this status game. Collectively that can be wars or plagues or other natural disasters. Individually it can be a broken heart. That forces us to think differently at least for a while. /6

As Proust also showed, that rupture is often not even enough, people repeat the same failed loves over and over. And collectively we repeat the same mistakes. The world wars forced a fundamental shift to our social lives. But that effect is now almost gone. /7

Covid wasn’t enough (yet) to rupture our happy socialising, where the happiness is mostly skin-deep. Our lives are wracked by the constant anxiety over social status, hidden beneath ‘fun’ smiles. Together with climate change though, that rupture will come. /8

In the meantime, loneliness is one of the few windows into a life more free of these social status games. A lonely person is generally most concerned about their lack of status, amongst friends and colleagues. But that’s reality giving them an opportunity to break free. /9

Which they mostly won’t. /end (Picture from: https://t.co/lReqiDCCL6)