20 February

Public and domestic sewage systems are now continuously blocked by people using wet wipes instead of toilet paper. These then create ‘fatbergs’, enormous balls of fat and other wastes which block even main sewer lines. At the same time more than half the population suffer from haemorrhoids, a terrible chronic problem for many. Both of these problems have a common origin. People are not taught how to wipe their bums. It’s why many use wipes instead, to try to fix the problems their absence of skills here cause in the first place. Good on this proctologist for putting it out there. The whole problem (watch him) is the idea of wiping in the first place. If your first action after a number 2 is to wipe, you’re going to smear a lot of mess down there, which will then need a lot more wiping to clear up. That large amount of wiping in turn sandpapers your anus, a major cause of haemorrhoids. The solution? The anus is a very small sensitive area, which only needs to be massaged with toilet paper with gentle pressure after a number 2 to remove most waste. A tiny wipe to remove the massaging paper is all that’s needed to finish the job. If you’re already damaged down there, and need to use a wet wipe for a while as he suggests, NEVER put it down the toilet afterwards. Apologies for what for many will be a taboo topic. Better than suffering in silence, and much better for poor Council workers spending their days removing fatbergs.