1 January

The annual flag worship is almost upon us, so just a few of my thoughts on Australia Day. I have zero time for any of the debates over the day, they're all fake arguments set up to create division, to harvest votes. I like that we celebrate Australia. What I don't like is that we celebrate a day when Australia didn't even exist. It didn't exist until more than a century later, at Federation. That would be a smarter 'Australia Day'. The day we do celebrate commemorates the setting up of a British penal colony. I also hate all flags. As somebody who wouldn't even exist except for a father fleeing flag-waving Nazi fanatics in Germany, anybody who tells me a flag is an important thing will get the same fuck off every single time. Fuck all jingoism and nationalism, fuck all flags. I would celebrate Australia actually doing anything at all except build terrible quality housing at hugely inflated prices, which is then bid on like a casino for quick capital gains. That we did something, anything, to give life here some sense of purpose except getting on the beers and gambling. The only reason modern Australia exists is the world wars, the only events in our history that made us pause our settler get-rich-quick culture of gold rushes, land grabs, booze and now casino housing. My Australia Day wish this year is that everybody read Bill Gammage's book about what the earliest European settlers found when they arrived here. It might change your view of Australia forever. We still are the planet's greatest and most important mystery, but we're too drunk and busy gambling to even notice.