22 January

I heard a joke once that said a bogan is somebody whose life is defined by the use of petrol. I didn’t realise there are whole websites on the topic. (Some very funny stuff on this site, I hadn’t realised @[100001374621876:2048:Kato] and maybe even @[783412914:2048:Manning] are bogans, until now.) “While his father may have gotten his bogan on by leaving a beach strewn with empty tinnies and Winfield butts, and pissing in clear sight of nearby families, today’s bogan takes beach-based obnoxiousness to new levels with the introduction of the jet ski. Not only can today’s bogan show off his appalling trailer-reversing technique (extra bogan points if a petrol-powered device comes with its own trailer,) but upon firing it up, he can shower those nearby with oil-smeared water and black smoke, and crucially, emit a noise so obscenely loud it aurally bludgeons the entire coastline into a hasty retreat. Thus he achieves the holy trinity of bogan – air pollution, water pollution and sound pollution.”