22 August

Little bit long, but asks a question that I think a lot of men and women ask. What do women really desire? (And mindful of course that there’s no reason they would all desire the same things.) One thing that interests me in this (sometimes pretty stupid) research - I don’t think an MRI is going to answer this question, for example - is the consistent finding that many women may be *less* ‘relational’ in their desire than men; they want to receive pleasure a lot more than they want to give it. Normally that’s seen as a male thing, but porn is evidence that it may be backwards - porn is overwhelmingly images of women experiencing (even if faking) pleasure. And that’s porn made for men, mostly, who are less interested in seeing men experience pleasure. Studies seem to show even women prefer seeing other women, in porn, than seeing men. Also a good discussion here about the difference between ‘rape fantasies’ and the desire which comes from submission. Very different things, often confused.