22 July

Where does a phone call happen? I remember asking that question a few times. There is no simple answer, which is the point of the question. There is a ‘presence’ to the conversation that isn’t located anywhere in space as we think about it. It’s why the telephone is sometimes called a tele-presence technology. This loops back to what I often write about travel. I’d call our culture fundamentalist about ‘being there’. We feel we are closer to something - more present to it - if our physical body is located next to it. So we think the real ‘Paris’ can only be found by flying there. This is wrong. In many ways you are further from the real Paris by being physically there, than by reading a great novel or watching a great film about it. Both technologies that can create a virtual presence of the real Paris. Sometimes we say they ‘evoke’ real Parisian life, which means the same thing. Your can spend weeks in Paris and never get close to that sort of presence. SImilarly look at this couple. Are they ‘closer’ to each other because they’re sitting next to each other on a couch? They look a million miles apart, in the presence way. Many couples find a much closer presence as a couple, by creating more physical space between them. By having separate bedrooms, even living for times apart. It ‘rekindles’ the presence, that undefinable reality of connection. We fundamentally mistake presence, for ‘being there’. They’re absolutely not the same thing. Take celebrity, do you get ‘closer’ to a celebrity by queuing up for a selfie with them, by being in the same space with them? Selfies reveal this fundamentalist part of our culture, the belief in ‘being there’. In fact you’ll be a lot closer to them in a presence sense by reading something they’ve written, something that gives you a presence to their inner thoughts and feelings. Why I sometimes say I share a lot more about me by sharing my thoughts here, than I would by sharing lots of selfies and photos of what I do every day. Social media is infected with the same ‘being there’ fundamentalism. The dominance of selfie-type sharing is actually socially motivated, it’s status-seeking mostly. A selfie is how others see you, not how you see yourself. A few lines about how you think is infinitely more ‘selfie’.