26 November

I’ve discussed this with a lot of friends. Flirting really is a lost art, as the article says, in an age of such appalling manners and almost zero etiquette even being polite can be misread as flirting. We confuse and mix up flirting and seduction, they’re entirely different. Flirting can be used as part of seduction, but they’re not the same thing. Flirting and teasing I think open up a space between people that’s not friendship, but is not a relationship (or an intention to have one) either. And it’s not about how a person looks either, it’s about playfulness. A great performer flirts with a crowd, a teacher like the one Robin Williams plays in Dead Poets Society flirts with their students - meaning being playful and challenging. Unfortunately too many genuinely mixed up people got into teaching over the years, the types who try to seduce rather than flirt, so I would strongly advise against anybody trying to replicate Williams - you’ll be fired fairly quickly, as Williams’ character was, there are no shades of grey in this area in teaching now. But it’s such a difficult area, because without a baseline of manners and etiquette, pretty much everything above pleasantries can be interpreted as sinister in some way.