1 November

Those nice feelings of being in love, or of nice food or drink, or nice weather (for example) - where do they come from? Proust says we often make the mistake of thinking they come from the objects themselves - from the person we love, or the food or drink, or the weather. And this is why we repeat our loves for example, as we try to ‘empty’ each partner in search of the source of each feeling. Or why we over-eat or over-drink, again searching for the elusive source of those nice feelings in the food or in the drink. Or why serial shaggers can never get enough sex. Feelings and emotions are not isolated things to be enjoyed. If love, cake and wine make you feel good, more love, cake and wine won’t make you feel better. Our feelings tell us what has changed from one moment to the next, it’s the differences and contrasts we enjoy, not the feelings themselves. Addiction is the search for the source of the nice feelings, in the objects themselves.