28 July

Watched this on the weekend. Entertaining, but missed some opportunities I think. About fake people in relationships, who pretend to be something they’re not, often in sinister ways. The image here shows the emphasis in this story, about predatory men, ‘love bombing’, gaslighting etc. What the story missed for me is exploration of why these men do it, and why women fall for it. 1970s feminism would (rightly) have a field day with this, with the woman portrayed as a helpless victim, with little insight or agency. And women can also be fake in relationships, creating a version of themselves to fit with a particular partner, or even to be manipulative. A more interesting story for me would have explored why love itself is fundamentally fake in so many ways. Not out of bad intent, but because of the impossible distance between two people. Rather than the dominant vibe in this series, of people being perpetually wounded and ‘cheated’. We are always in love with our idea of another person. When our ideas turn out to vary from the reality of that person, that’s not betrayal or cheating. That’s an inescapable reality. True love is living in that unbridgeable gap, enjoying its sparks and wearing its wounds.