26 December

Watched a short series on Prue Leith and husband John Playfair, building the garden in their new home. But what stayed with me more was something about love. They’re elderly now, and watching them together the word I’d use to describe their interactions would be ‘measured’. Older couples are often like that, they seem a bit boring next to the love we see in younger couples, the romance. But I think it’s a much more sophisticated understanding of love, a measured caution, respecting the distance between you and the other person and living in that distance, rather than trying to close it. Separate bedrooms too, so that life becomes more a series of encounters, rather than an oppressive attempt to force two people into one entity. What attracts us to people when we first meet them is the distance between them and us, their otherness. Smart couples maintain that distance, so that their daily encounters remain more like those when they first met. Love is always an encounter, not a feeling.