15 June

I see so many references to the idea that the best thing a person can do for their health is to make sure they have a rich social life. That to me is a fundamental misunderstanding of both life, and how humans work. Of course a society that is now hypersocial (lived on social media) is going to tell you that. If you don’t believe it, the whole lot comes crashing down. It’s an act of desperation. Sociality is intrinsically violent. Because being social - friendship - is not what we think it is. It is always, even in ways so subtle we don’t realise, an act of comparison. Of assessing and adjusting how we ‘fit in’. It makes the cortisol escalate in our bodies, and anxiety, as we continuously monitor where we fit and our status within our different groups. We know that’s how school works, but we live a collective, desperate illusion that it stops in adult life. It never stops. But at the same time there’s not a binary here, between being very social, and being a hermit. That’s not your only other option. I’d like to describe another possible option, in a Part 2 post which will just be a comment on this post, to ‘thread’ it. Because this idiot medium won’t read anything that can’t be swiped though in a few seconds.