6 August

Another article that (to me) makes the same mistake about love. Seeing love as being selfless, and looking out for yourself is selfishness, or narcissism. If you want the world to be full of ‘love’, don’t always define it as something people only do when they act against their own instincts and feelings. People behave badly in relationships when they don’t have a handle on their own selves - they don’t have enough self-love, not too much. A mature adult acts in ways that is good for others because it’s also good for them, it’s not a binary. Also mirroring, which we all do. We all play a role when we meet a person we like, to try to be something we think they want. People do it not just (as this article says) to try to win somebody’s heart, they also do it to help keep that other person out of their personal space, to ’not make waves’ so that they protect their own space too. Pure, healthy narcissism.